Modern American culture is paradoxical in many ways. Some people find ways to procrastinate before leaving for work, but once they hop into their cars, they drive like demons. Many folks lament closure of small, locally owned businesses, yet make many of their purchases online from mass merchandisers. Americans are fervent about preservation of their personal freedoms, yet seek regulation of other people’s behaviors that they dislike or find objectionable. After spending an hour in a Pilates workout to burn off 350 calories, some people reward themselves with a refreshing 600-calorie latte or mocha frappé.

 

A paradox is a situation composed of contradictory qualities. Even the definitions of ‘paradox’ are — well — paradoxical. A linguistic paradox is “a statement that seems contradictory, unbelievable or absurd but that may be true in fact,” according to one definition in Webster’s New World College Dictionary. But the same dictionary offers another, conflicting definition of paradox: “a statement that is self-contradictory and, hence, false.” The word is itself paradoxical. A paradox can take the form of a statement that superficially appears logical, but on closer examination is self-contradictory in some sense.

 

One aphorism observes, “The only certainty in life is that nothing is ever certain.” That makes sense initially until the sentence is dissected. If nothing is certain, then the thesis of the statement about “the only certainly in life” cannot be true. The statement is supposed to be whimsical as well as wise, but it invalidates itself.

 

Comedian and social commentator George Carlin incisively pondered, “If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”

 

Motion picture producer Samuel Goldwyn declared, “Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.”

 

Commenting on the rise of Marxism in France in 1882, economist and philosopher Karl Marx wrote, “If anything is certain, it is that I myself am not a Marxist.”

 

An analysis that criticized an election report declared “the report is filled with omissions of that magnitude.” No, the omissions didn’t “fill” the report; that material was missing, so the report was incomplete.

 

Entertainer Bob Hope shrewdly observed, “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.”

 

In a discussion about a popular restaurant with Stan Musial and Joe Garagiola, fellow baseball great Yogi Berra famously quipped, “Aw, nobody goes there anymore — it’s too crowded.”

 

While many statements may be unintentionally paradoxical, others are deliberate (and often disingenuous). Advertisers claim, for example, “buy now during our sale and save money” — even though customers will be spending money, of course.

 

Many American idiomatic phrases and word pairs are paradoxical. Such paradoxical word pairs are called oxymorons. The word oxymoron is composed of two conflicting words from ancient Greek: “oxys” (which meant “sharp”) and “moronos” (which meant “dull” or “foolish”). People use oxymorons commonly, without taking notice of their self-contradictory nature — and their potential to confuse people whose first language is not English.

 

Oxymorons may be used intentionally, for whimsy or other effect. Andy Warhol playfully described himself as a “deeply superficial” person. Another word, “bittersweet,” consists of a deliberate pairing of conflicting terms.

 

Some oxymorons are unintentional, however, often with ridiculous results. Many oxymorons began as witticisms, but their recurrent use renders them — paradoxically — trite. Examples include:

• act naturally (acting is not a person’s natural behavior)
• escaped prisoner (that should be escaped convict; a person who has escaped is no longer imprisoned)
• uninvited guest (a person who was not invited is not a guest)
• only choice (two or more possibilities are required from which to make a choice)
• larger half (a half is either of two equal parts)
• new and improved (if it’s improved it’s not new — it’s refined)
• turned up missing (someone who is missing hasn’t turned up, as far as we know)
• reduce gain (audio engineers refer to sound amplitude — volume — as “gain”)
• deafening silence
• original copy
• wireless cable
• random order
• forgotten memory
• plastic glassware
• boneless ribs
• growing smaller
• negative growth
• negative income
• toxic asset
• detailed summary
• paid volunteer
• uncontested race
• rolling stop
• old news
• sight unseen
• exact estimate
• small crowd
• unbiased opinion

 

We’re temped to advise writers to generally avoid oxymorons and paradoxical statements that might confuse readers. On the other hand, people should never generalize. Now, if you recognized “never generalize” as oxymoronic, go ahead — treat yourself to a mocha frappé.

W.K. “Jake” Wehrell of Florida has published his second book with Book Prep, a service of EditPros. Our Book Prep service helps authors by formatting their content for printing and e-book creation, and enables authors to function as their own publisher and manage pricing and distribution of their own books.

 

Wehrell’s new book, titled I Guess I Just Wasn’t Thinking, Part 2: The French Riviera, Leo, June and Big Trouble, is the second in an intended four-part series describing events in his life, portrayed through the fictional character Roger Yahnke.

 

In the new book, Yahnke’s decades-long saga of unnerving global escapades (and aggrieved marital status) continues in the summer of ’64, at the height of the Cold War. Yahnke, a captain in the U.S. Marines, is assigned as a nuclear weapons delivery pilot aboard a U.S. supercarrier. He is assigned his own aircraft, his own bomb, and his own target — an Eastern bloc city that he will vaporize should the Russians launch one ballistic missile westward (or if someone somewhere thinks they did). Stand by for compelling (some mirthful, some tragic, all engaging) shipboard events. But that’s nothing compared to what happens when he’s ashore.

 

From the bronzed and oiled hedonism of the Cote d’Azur beaches, to bargaining with the KGB in an abandoned house in Bulgaria; from a jail cell in Istanbul where he spends the night with an international film star, to a sunny veranda on the island of Rhodes where he lunches with an exiled king, The French Riviera, Leo, June, and Big Trouble recounts Roger’s baptism to another world and his desperate struggle with his own crippling dilemma.

 

As part of the Book Prep package, EditPros professionally formatted the interior pages of each of Wehrell’s books, designed the book covers, and readied them for print publication. EditPros also formatted and converted the book files into e-book formats for sales through Amazon (Kindle), Apple (iBooks), Barnes & Noble (Nook), and Kobo, by means of submission to IngramSpark's e-book service.

 

With Book Prep, authors retain all rights to their books, and collect 100 percent of sales royalties.

LEARN MORE about the EditPros Book Prep service.

Rodney J. wrote:

The grammar coach replies:

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