CONTENTS WRITING: Learn to discern words often misheard FINDER'S FEE: Recommend a friend—and earn up to $500 TECHNOLOGY: Improper CD labeling can damage your data NET NOTES: Captivating web sites FEATURE: Learn to discern words that are commonly misheard      When Broadway theatrical producer Cheryl Crawford wrote her autobiography, she titled it "One Naked Individual". The title had nothing to do with nudity; it was a winking reference to her childhood recitation of one particular line of the Pledge of Allegiance: "...to the republic for which it stands, one naked individual...."      She probably wasn't the only kid who misunderstood the words of the pledge or of the Lord's Prayer, for that matter. Some children become convinced that the Deity's name is Harold, citing what they thought they heard: "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be thy name." As a toddler in the late 1970s, Dave March—son of EditPros partner Jeff March—regaled his preschool with his interpretation of "Eentsy Weentsy Spider," in which he sang, "...out came the sponge and dried up all the rain...." That would have required an enormous sponge, but it made sense to a 3-year-old.      Unable or perhaps too shy to verify in writing what they believed they heard, children commit misinterpretations to memory. Although inability to read is often at fault, the same phenomenon can afflict literate teenagers and adults.      What else could explain why some younger adults think that Bob Dylan was singing "the ants are my friends" in Blowin' in the Wind"?      They wonder why "the girl with colitis goes by" in "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" by the Beatles (who actually sang about "the girl with kaleidoscope eyes").      Some people are convinced that Maria Muldaur sang "Midnight, after you're wasted" even though the song title is "Midnight at the Oasis.      They don't question why Arlo Guthrie was "...coming into Los Angeles, bringing in a couple of geese" (misunderstanding "keys," shorthand for kilograms—of marijuana).      And, yes, they'll swear that Elton John sang "...hold me closer, Tony Danza" in the pop hit "Tiny Dancer."      These belly-jiggling misinterpretations occurred as a result of inaccessibility of printed song lyrics. People can likewise misinterpret and misuse the words of common idiomatic expressions—for example, imploring "Don't dilute yourself into thinking they'll cooperate." The proper word, of course, is "delude," meaning to deceive. But by a stretch of the imagination, "dilute" could seem plausible, perhaps in the sense of "thinning" or compromising personal beliefs or goals.      Linguists brand such a ludicrous misuse of a word as a "malapropism." Often resulting from confusing two words that have similar pronunciations, malapropisms may involve blending two distinct words, or unknowingly splitting single words according to sound. The term is derived from a character named "Mrs. Malaprop" in Richard Sheridan's 1775 play "The Rivals." Linguistically inept Mrs. Malaprop habitually struggled to use words beyond the bounds of her vocabulary, with humorous results. She declared, for example, that "he is the very pineapple of politeness" when the word that eluded her was "pinnacle."      Many people unknowingly infuse their speech with commonly recited malapropisms without bothering to question their literal meaning. Here are some recurrent malapropisms we've collected, followed by their proper wording. MALAPROPISM CORRECTION all for not all for naught baited breath bated breath (derived from "abate"—to reduce) beckon call beck and call cheap at half the price cheap at twice the price (even at twice the cost, it still would be inexpensive) chomp at the bit champ at the bit I could care less I couldn't care less deformation of character defamation of character a doggy-dog world a dog-eat-dog world escape goat a scapegoat for all intensive purposes for all intents and purposes heart-rendering heart-rending jest of the matter gist of the matter ("gist" is "essence") low and behold lo and behold mute point moot point old wise tale old wives' tale he/she has a stigmatism ...has astigmatism part in parcel part and parcel partial of land parcel of land proof is in the pudding proof of the pudding is in the eating (from Miguel de Cervantes' "Don Quixote") rebel rouser rabble rouser (despite the old Duane Eddy tune) reek havoc or wreck havoc wreak havoc rolling stone gathers no moths ...gathers no moss a seize-fire a cease-fire since time in memorial since time immemorial statue of limitations statute of limitations on tender hooks on tenterhooks took it for granite took it for granted tow the line toe the line (touching a mark with the toe) vocal chords vocal cords willfully inadequate woefully inadequate Winkin, Blinkin and Nod Wynken, Blynken and Nod (19th-century lullaby by Eugene Field) without further adieu without further ado ("adieu" means "good-by"; "ado" is "fuss" or "bother") world win tour whirlwind tour worst fears came to life worst fears came to light wrack your brain rack your brain ("wrack" means to ruin; "rack" in this sense means to strain) youth hostiles youth hostels      The best way to avoid repeating malapropisms is to evaluate the literal meaning of any questionable word or phrase. What could "low and behold" possibly mean? What are "tender hooks"? How could a point be mute?      So how can you find a proper expression when you don't know what it is? You can try an unabridged dictionary that includes phrases with which specific words are associated. If you can determine the intended meaning of the phrase in question, try looking for a synonym in a thesaurus. You might also scan the index of a thesaurus. Even if you didn't know that "tender hooks" should be "tenterhooks," the two entries appear close to one another in a thesaurus index, and spotting the right word would take little effort.      Computer software dictionaries with word-search functions may help identify some words as they occur in phrases. Several dictionaries are available on the Web, including: - Merriam-Webster's Dictionary; - American Heritage Dictionary; - Dictionary.com.      But if you're trying to figure out what to do with a couple of geese, you're on your own. Yes! EditPros can find and correct any words you may have misheard. FINDER'S FEE: Recommend a friend—and earn up to $500      Do you know of a friend or colleague whose office can benefit from EditPros services? If you do, you may earn a "finder's fee" of up to $500 from EditPros.      EditPros provides writing and editing services for newsletters, sales literature, brochures and other informational and marketing materials. We work with businesses, government agencies, research organizations and educational institutions--not just in Northern California, but with clients across the country.      If you recommend our services to a friend or business colleague, and that introduction leads to an assignment for EditPros, we will award you a "finder's fee" equaling 10 percent of the amount we earn on the first assignment for the new client, up to a maximum finder's fee of $500. That's our way of thanking you for your confidence in us. Naturally, the finder's fee is applicable only to clients for which we have not worked previously. Yes, you may recommend us to someone within your own organization. And yes, the finder's fee will be issued to you personally, not to your organization. This offer will remain in effect until further notice.      When we say "thanks for thinking of us," you can bank on our sincerity. TECHNOLOGY: Improper CD labeling can damage your data      The way you label compact discs that you record may be hazardous to your data. Recordable CDs are susceptible to damage not only from sunlight and scratches, but also from adhesive labels and marking pens. Some labeling methods are safer than others.      Indelible markers are commonly used to label recordable CDs (CD-Rs), but not all are suitable. CDs are composed of several layers, the most delicate of which is a metal foil reflective layer just beneath the upper (label) surface. The data is recorded by "burning" a pattern of pits into an "organic polymer dye" layer, which is sandwiched just below the reflective layer on a CD-R. Rewritable CDs (CD-RWs) have a more complex structure. With either type of disc, any damage to the foil renders the data unreadable.      In cheaply made discs, the protective upper surface is dangerously thin, sometimes consisting only of an acrylic varnish. Such discs are often plain, lacking printing. In contrast, CDs imprinted with a colored ink surface, a manufacturer's logo or other printing have a thicker protective layer more capable of withstanding labeling with a marking pen.      The petroleum-based inks in some markers can gradually penetrate the protective lacquer surface of CDs and damage the foil layer, making data unreadable. Some manufacturers have introduced pens they say are designed specifically for marking CDs. In truth, soft-tipped pens containing water-based or alcohol-based inks are acceptable under most circumstances.      Chemical changes constitute another danger. Damage to the protective lacquer layer can corrode the aluminum that is commonly used for the foil layer. Corrosion can render the aluminum incapable of reflecting the laser beam in a CD player—resulting in an unreadable disc. That's why the reflective layer in many premium CDs is made of gold, which cannot rust.      The Sanford company, maker of "Sharpie" markers, has introduced a "Power Mark" line designated for marking recordable CDs. Other CD marking pens include the TDK "CD Writer," Dixon Ticonderoga "Redisharp Plus," Fellowes "Neato" pens, Smart and Friendly "CD Speed Marker," Maxell "Disc Writer" pens and Memorex "CD Markers."      Avoid pens with ultra-fine tips to prevent indenting the protective layer. Write with a light touch, and never label a CD with a ball-point pen. Use only CDs with a surface intended for writing. To minimize the possibility of corrupting data, write only on the clear plastic "hub" area closest to the hole because no data is written on the innermost ring of the disc.      For business applications, such as CDs produced for clients—the neater look of paper labels may be preferable to handwritten labeling. Be sure to use only full-circle labels designed specifically for CDs, such as those produced by Avery, Neato, Zweckform and CD Stomper. A semicircular label can imbalance a CD when it's spinning in the disc drive. Solvents in some label adhesives can attack the protective lacquer coating of some CDs.      Paper labels, adhesives and the materials in CDs all respond differently to the heat generated in a CD drive. Peeling or buckling of a label can damage a disc or the drive into which it's inserted. Labels must be applied smoothly, because air bubbles can cause malfunctions in some CD drives. For most seamless results, use a label applicator tool. Adhesive labels may be inadvisable for use with slot-loading CD drives. Never attempt to peel a label from a CD. Doing so may detach some of the protective layer of the disc.      Some ink-jet and wax transfer printers, including several models from Primera Technology and Rimage, are designed to print text and graphics directly onto CDs. The ink-jet printers require specially designated discs.      Silk-screening offers another option for business use. This high-quality process is particularly suitable for production of large quantities of CDs bearing a company logo.      Even without labeling of any kind, recordable CDs can be somewhat unstable. Humidity, temperature and chemical changes in the disc layers can result in gradual data loss from the moment any disc is written.      Discs designated for "data use" are perfectly capable of recording audio files using your computer. The "music" blank CDs are necessary only for stand-alone audio CD recorders. The fundamental difference between "data" and "music" CDs is the information contained in the "disc application flag"—a digital identification tag pressed into each blank. The music industry reaps a percentage of the sale price of each "music" recordable CD—thereby making them more costly than "data" blanks.      You can learn more about the properties of various recordable CD brands, as well as obtain information on CD and DVD recorders and other technical information, by visiting: - http://www.cdrfaq.org; - http://www.cd-info.com; or - http://www.cdpage.com. [Thanks to Amanda (March) Domingues for this story idea.] Net Notes: Captivating Internet resources Search Systems Public Records Database http://www.searchsystems.net/      Here's a directory linking to more than 17,000 public records databases throughout the world. Use of the site is free, but some of the individual data sources impose fees. Categories include attorneys, aviation, courts, criminal records, military, missing persons, recalls, vehicle safety and many more. Duration calculator http://www.timeanddate.com/date/duration.html      Have you ever needed to determine the duration between two dates? Enter the starting and ending day, month and year—and hour, minutes and seconds, if you wish—and this site will perform the calculation for you. The calculator determined that as of Feb. 1, EditPros has been in business for 3,867 days—or 92,808 hours or 5,568,480 minutes or 334,108,800 seconds. Calculate your age in seconds—if you dare. Toon Tracker http://www.toontracker.com      Take time out for some nostalgic fun. This "Toon Tracker" Web site is a repository of information about "lost" and forgotten cartoons, including Calvin and the Colonel, Clutch Cargo, Crusader Rabbit, Felix the Cat, Hoppity Hooper, the Huckleberry Hound Show, Mr. Magoo, the Nutty Squirrels, Quick Draw McGraw, Roger Ramjet, Ruff and Reddy, Spunky and Tadpole, Terrytoons and Time for Beany. In addition to pages dedicated to these and other cartoons, the site contains sound files with program theme music and show introductions dating to the 1930s. YOUR TURN: Ask the "grammar coach" or subscribe      We invite you to submit your questions to the "grammar coach," and we welcome you to subscribe to this monthly newsletter—which we'll send to your e-mail address at no charge. We respond to all "grammar coach" questions personally, but delays may occur because we must place top priority on assignments from our clients. We appreciate your patience and your interest.      You also can change your e-mail subscription address. For an address change, please indicate your existing AND your new e-mail address. Thank you. OUR PRIVACY POLICY for e-mail newsletter subscribers:      We do not use any commercial e-mail lists or automated mass-mailing programs, and we do not allow access to the list by anyone else for any reason. Our subscriber list is maintained by hand, and it is not for sale. We are protective of confidentiality because many of our readers are also clients of ours. Any accompanying advertising is placed by Yahoo.com in exchange for our use of the e-mail server to distribute this newsletter.