CONTENTS FEATURE: Vocabulary weaknesses make people look foolish SPOTLIGHT: EditPros clients in the news NET NOTES: Captivating web sites FEATURE: Vocabulary weaknesses can make people look foolish      No one wants to be the butt of an April Fools' Day joke.      Some people might have been tempted to use the term "brunt" in that sentence, thinking that use of "butt" would make them look foolish. But they would be wrong. One sense of the noun "butt" does, indeed, mean a person who serves as an object of ridicule. "Brunt" is the main impact or force of a punch or collision--not at all the intended meaning.      Vocabulary weaknesses can make people look foolish when they make improper word choices in speech or writing.      An uninformed personnel official may be puzzled about snickers resulting from her proclamation that a court can order a worker's wages "garnished." Will that be with parsley or paprika? The chuckles result from the speaker's unfamiliarity of the distinction between two similar but distinct terms: garnish and garnishee. The verb "garnish" means to embellish a food with extra flavor or color; the verb "garnishee" (pronounced gar-nih-SHEE) is a term for the legal process of ordering payment of property or money, including wages, to settle a debt.      One consumer who says he wants to know about a "GARR-an-TEE" before making a purchase is mixing two terms: guarantee and warranty. A "guarantee" is a broad pledge or promise about the quality or durability of a product or service. The related term "guaranty" is more specific, designating an agreement under which a person assumes responsibility for assuring payment or filling the debts of another person; a guaranty also connotes collateral held as security for a debt. A "warranty" generally is a pro-rated formula for service or repair, whereas an item that is fully covered for the term is guaranteed. (A "warrantee" is a person to whom a warrant is issued.)      The credibility of a letter written by a whistle-blower challenging the ethics of a contractual arrangement was compromised when he described it as "a sorted affair." Since he was not describing a mail sorting operation, he undoubtedly intended to write "sordid," meaning foul or morally degraded.      In an e-mail message, a woman said she was not "diluting" herself into thinking her supervisor would make significant improvements in her department. While liquids can be diluted, people cannot; she should have said "deluding," meaning the act of fooling or deceiving. (The verb "dilute" refers to a reduction of a liquid's concentration.)      A television news reporter declared that the Southern California town of San Juan Capistrano derived its "notoriety" from the swallows that returned to the ancient Franciscan mission there early each spring. "Notoriety" would more aptly be used in connection with Al Capone than San Juan Capistrano, because that term has a connotation of dishonor; notoriety is more closely related to infamy than to fame. "Distinction," "repute" or "prominence" would have been more appropriate descriptive terms for the town--unless the reporter had been alluding to the peril of bird droppings.      Terms that are often used incorrectly include: Alternatives. Two possibilities between which a choice must be made. When more than two courses of action are involved, "options" or "selections" are appropriate terms. Bias. Although the noun "bias" is commonly used as a synonym for discrimination, the actual definition of the word is broader than that. "Bias" can properly refer to any preference or inclination--favorable or unfavorable. Cement. The paving material for sidewalks and driveways is CONCRETE. Cement is an adhesive ingredient found in concrete. Decimate. Although this verb may be used to indicate killing of a significant portion of a group, it should not be used as a synonym of "annihilate" (which means complete destruction or elimination), nor should it be used when any percentage other than 10 percent is specified. The reason: the traditional meaning of "decimate" is to kill every 10th member of a group, a practice inflicted in Roman times. A statement that fumigation decimated 50 percent of an insect population will bug people who value semantics. Dilemma. While being forced to confront a dilemma can be problematic, not all problems or predicaments are dilemmas. A shortage of revenue alone is not a dilemma; government indecision about whether to raise taxes or reduce services during an election year is a dilemma. A dilemma specifically is a situation demanding a choice between equally unappealing or objectionable alternatives. A quandary involves three or more possibilities. Paradigm: A product of the Department of Pretentiousness, this term means no more than "example" or "model." What, then, is a "paradigm shift"? Facilitate. How does someone facilitate a meeting? Perhaps by providing recliners or foot massages for participants? Or taking notes for them? The verb "facilitate" means "to make easier." In practice, someone may conduct, moderate, direct or preside over a meeting, but is unlikely to facilitate it in the proper sense of the word.      Improper word choice is often the result of straining to write or speak eloquently--as in a brochure declaring "The program is happy to facilitate visitors to the facility who wish to see biotechnology research." Here's a more relaxed approach: "Program personnel welcome visitors who wish to see how biotechnology research is conducted at our facility."      A tour guide escorting stockholders through the biotechnology lab might raise eyebrows by describing its discoveries as fortuitous. They'd likely want more assurance that the findings were derived from scientific hypotheses, rather than being purely accidental—as the adjective "fortuitous" suggests.      The best way to improve vocabulary proficiency is by regularly consulting meanings in a dictionary. Study the multiple meanings of words, and read any notes on usage or synonyms that may appear. The etymology entries explaining the origin of words also help to explain their proper use. Consider opening the dictionary at least once each day, to learn a new word—or confirm the meaning of a word you only thought you understood. Few attributes enhance credibility as effectively as strengthened vocabulary skills. No fooling. Yes! EditPros writing and editing services can help assure your organization of making appropriate word choices. SPOTLIGHT: EditPros clients in the news Enjoy the festive Scottish Games & Gathering, April 26-27      The Caledonian Club of Sacramento will celebrate its 127th anniversary on April 26-27 during the Scottish Games & Gathering, which has been held for the past six years at the Yolo County Fairgrounds in Woodland, Calif. In addition to the popular Scottish athletic events, historical reenactments, piping and drumming, Scottish animals, and Highland dancing, this year's Games will feature six wonderfully entertaining professional Celtic music acts: Craicmore, Distant Oaks, Doug McLean, Colin Grant-Adams, Molly's Revenge, and Rene Corbin. Scot or not, you and your entire family are welcome. The gates open at 9 a.m.      EditPros has produced the Caledonian Club of Sacramento's printed Games program since 1995.      For more information, visit the Caledonian Club's Web site. Net Notes: Captivating Internet resources Internet Archive Wayback Machine http://web.archive.org/      So you think your old Web site has forever been deleted from memory? It still exists, at this site, which archives former versions of current Web sites, organized by date. (We discovered that the Wayback Machine contains versions of EditPros Web pages dating to 1996.) The Internet Archive, based in San Francisco, is a nonprofit organization that was founded to build an "Internet library" offering permanent access for researchers, historians, and scholars to historical collections that exist in digital format. ePodunk http://www.epodunk.com      Information about Los Angeles, Chicago, New York and other major cities is abundant on the Web, but getting the lowdown on America's small towns can be challenging. This site, however, has a searchable database of profiles of 25,000 towns and small cities throughout the United States. Enter the town of your choice, and you'll learn its population, the derivation of its name, distinctions, well-known residents, attractions, economic data, government agencies, historic sites and more. Enjoy charming vintage postcards as well. The site is operated by ePodunk Inc. of Trumansburg, N.Y.--just east of the actual village named Podunk (the residents of which are called "Podunkers"). Highway and Road Conditions http://www.highwayconditions.com/      Monitor road conditions within all American states and Canadian provinces, with links for regional and metropolitan information, live traffic views, maps and driving directions. The site is operated by Aspen Investments International Ltd. of Prince George, B.C., Canada. YOUR TURN: Ask the "grammar coach" or subscribe      We invite you to submit your questions to the "grammar coach," and we welcome you to subscribe to this monthly newsletter—which we'll send to your e-mail address at no charge. 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