CONTENTS FEATURE: The idiom "such as" often betrays slapdash writing GRAMMAR COACH: Fielding your questions FINDER'S FEE: Recommend a friend—and earn up to $500 FEATURE: The idiom "such as" often betrays slapdash writing      You can tell if your co-worker was mentally preoccupied or left home hurriedly in the morning if he arrives at work with toast crumbs on his shirt and a toothpaste smear on his cheek. You can likewise determine if the writer of an article or report was hurried or distracted — perhaps even lazy — if he or she leaves a telltale clue: reliance on the idiomatic phrase "such as" to introduce a list of items.      A Northern California newspaper article referred to "such states as Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Indiana, Kentucky, West Virginia and Oregon." The phrase "such states as" suggests that those states have something in common that is immediately apparent to readers. Try to imagine what that common characteristic might be. Four are Appalachian Mountains states, but two are not. Three are in the South, but one is in the Midwest and another is on the Pacific Coast. Four were "red" states while two were "blue" states in the 2004 presidential election. Two were colonies, but four were not.      The reporter used the phrase in an article about a speech that former President Bill Clinton made at the California Democratic Party state convention on March 30 in behalf of the presidential candidacy of Hillary Clinton. The article said that Bill Clinton sought to persuade superdelegates "to hang on until the close of the primary season — which includes votes in such states as Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Indiana, Kentucky, West Virginia and Oregon — before choosing sides."      The phrase "such states as" implied that a litany of states too numerable to mention had not yet held their primary elections or state party caucuses. In reality, the list excluded mention of Democratic party primaries in only three other states — Montana, South Dakota and Idaho.      Because addition of those other states would not have lengthened the article appreciably, perceptive readers would logically conclude that the writer was too lazy or too hurried to research that aspect of the article authoritatively. That oversight, by association, casts a shadow of doubt on the accuracy of other material in the article.      The questionable "such as" sentence contained 34 words. Here, in 33 words, is a more inclusive version:      Clinton sought to persuade superdelegates to delay choosing sides until the primary season concludes, following elections in nine additional states: Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Indiana, Kentucky, West Virginia, Oregon, Montana, South Dakota and Idaho.      Even if the connection between the states in the newspaper article had been obvious, the reporter mangled the idiomatic phrase "such as" by wedging "states" right in the middle of it. The word "states" should have preceded the phrase, thusly: "states such as...."      An idiom is a grouping of words, in a grammatically fixed structure, that together have a meaning that differs from that of the normal meaning of the individual words. On its own, the word "such" can be used as an adjective in reference to a degree or quality (for example, their anxiety was such that they could not sleep); as an adverb or pronoun in reference to an extreme degree (such comfort or such remarkable talent); it also can function as a pronoun (the flower garden is thriving; such is the result of consistent care).      Because the idiom "such as" is the equivalent of writing "for example," its use should be reserved for instances in which the reader can unmistakably determine the composition of the remainder of the representative list. Here's a "such as" list quiz for you. See if you can determine the common characteristic(s) of these seven motion pictures: Earl Carroll Vanities, an Oscar-nominated 1945 musical with lavish production numbers Show Business, a 1944 musical-comedy about a Broadway star's rise to fame Take a Letter, Darling, a 1942 romantic comedy about a male painter who becomes the secretary of a female advertising executive I Wanted Wings, a 1941 drama about the training and personal lives of three recruits in the Army Air Corps Las Vegas Nights, a 1941 musical about the attempt by a troupe of vaudevillians to convert a dilapidated building into a glamorous nightclub Mutiny on the Blackhawk, a 1939 adventure story about an open-seas uprising aboard a slave transport ship Prison Break, a 1938 drama about an innocent fisherman who is wrongly convicted and imprisoned on murder charges.      That list was contained in a wire service obituary article that said, "Constance Moore appeared in such films as 'Earl Carroll Vanities,' 'Show Business,' 'Take a Letter, Darling,' 'I Wanted Wings,' 'Las Vegas Nights,' 'Mutiny on the Blackhawk' and 'Prison Break.'"      Another newspaper replaced "such as" with "like," but that change was futile: "Ms. Moore also appeared in films like 'Earl Carroll Vanities,' 'Show Business,' 'Take a Letter, Darling'....'"      The wire service article should have said that Constance Moore appeared in 38 musical, comedy and drama films between 1937 and 1947, and then could have listed some representative examples along with their genres. In the absence of that qualifying information, any similarities between those films is not apparent.      The slapdash practice of reliance on the idiom "such as" and the preposition "like" is rampant — sometimes to the extent of being ludicrous. A newspaper article about "social networking" Web sites for "baby boomers" said, "The sites have names like Eons, Rezoom, Multiply, Maya's Mom, Boomj, and Boomertown. They look like Facebook — with wrinkles."      The last two names on the list, Boomj and Boomertown, are similar to one another. Those names have nothing in common, however, with the other four names in the list, and give readers no indication about the names of other sites that the writer declined to name.      The Web site of a nonprofit biomedical research institution appealed for monetary contributions. The solicitation message said, " Making a donation ... will help fund our research needs for improving the health of humankind as we target new treatments, therapies and cures for such diseases as melanoma, pancreatic cancer, brain tumors and diabetes."      Melanoma, pancreatic cancer and brain tumors are collectively characterized by abnormal tissue growth. Diabetes, however, is a metabolic-vascular disorder unrelated to tumor growth. The disassociation between those two groups of diseases leaves readers uncertain about which other disorders the institute investigates, and which it does not.      An obituary about a musician said, "Don Butterfield, a tuba player who performed with such stars as Dizzy Gillespie and Frank Sinatra and whose work can be heard on The Godfather: Part II, has died at age 83."      Dizzy Gillespie was a bebop jazz trumpeter, bandleader and composer. Frank Sinatra was a big-band singer, solo pop vocalist and actor. From just those two names, who might readers surmise were the other performers with whom Don Butterfield played? Who are other "stars such as Dizzy Gillespie and Frank Sinatra"?      During his career, Butterfield played with musicians Charles Mingus, Kenny Burrell, Stan Getz, Herbie Hancock, Wes Montgomery, Oscar Peterson, Lalo Schifrin and Jimmy Smith. All were jazz performers, but varied widely in their playing styles. Butterfield also regularly performed with the Radio City Music Hall Orchestra and recorded lush instrumentals for Jackie Gleason. He also played for symphonic conductors Arturo Toscanini, Dmitri Mitropoulos and Leonard Bernstein. The phrase "stars such as Dizzy Gillespie and Frank Sinatra" does not invoke the stylistic range of performers with whom Butterfield appeared and recorded.      A writer who uses the idiom "such as" to introduce a list is asking readers to connect the dots. That's acceptable as long as the identity of the dots and the connections between them are abundantly clear and well-known. If they're not, the writer didn't do such a good job. GRAMMAR COACH: Fielding your questions 1. Angela P. wrote:      "I am unsure about the correct idiomatic preposition used with the word 'promulgate.' For example: This law was promulgated (through, in, by) Title X of the U.S. Code." The grammar coach replies:      The verb "promulgate" is largely synonymous with the word "announce." It means to notify people about something (such as a decree) by public declaration. It also refers to enacting a law or regulation by formal public announcement.      None of the dictionaries or grammatical resources that we checked linked specific prepositions to the verb "promulgate." The prepositions "by," "for," "through" and "under" are commonly used, depending upon context, as seen in these sentences: "The following standards were adopted and promulgated BY the Indiana Occupational Safety Standards Commission on June 6, 2007." "The law, promulgated IN State Gazette No. 48 of May 23, 2003, has been in force since January 1, 2004." "This proposal is subject to any term or condition of any construction permits issued pursuant to Mississippi regulations approved or promulgated THROUGH rulemaking under Title I, including parts C or D, of the Federal Act." "Affected unit shall have the same meaning as set forth in the regulations promulgated UNDER Title IV of the Federal Act."      If you're uncertain about choice of preposition in a given context, temporarily substitute either "decree" or "announce" for the verb "promulgate." In the first example sentence, those substitutions would read: "adopted and decreed BY the Indiana Occupational. Safety Standards Commission" "adopted and decreed IN the Indiana Occupational Safety Standards Commission" "adopted and decreed THROUGH the Indiana Occupational Safety Standards Commission" "adopted and decreed UNDER the Indiana Occupational Safety Standards Commission."      On that basis, choose the most plausible or appropriate preposition. 2. Beth P. wrote:      "I am writing a paper and can't find this in the APA Manual. I am referring to two authors when I say, "Yeatts' and Barnes' (1999) four factors team theory on effectiveness". Am I correct in putting apostrophes behind both names?" The grammar coach replies:      The Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association devotes numerous entries to proper formation of author citations for footnotes, bibliographies and text, but we were unable to find any APA mention of possessive forms of the names of authors.      The Chicago Manual of Style says that "closely linked proper names may be treated as a unit in forming the possessive," for which it offers two examples: Fraser and Squair's French Grammar Minneapolis and Saint Paul's transportation system.      That guideline would endorse use of the apostrophe after "Barnes" but its elimination after "Yeatts," as shown here: "Yeatts and Barnes' (1999) four-factors team theory on effectiveness."      In the absence of defining APA style guidelines, however, consider avoiding possessive forms of the names of authors. Here are two possible revisions: "The four-factors team theory on effectiveness that Yeatts and Barnes (1999) espoused..." 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