CONTENTS FEATURE: Write Web content for the hotheads on the freeway GRAMMAR COACH: Fielding your questions FINDER'S FEE: Recommend a friend—and earn up to $500 FEATURE: Write your Web content for the hothead behind you on the freeway      You know him. He's the guy you spotted in your rear-view mirror, weaving and slicing his way through the throng of commuters before hurtling past you in a reckless blur. Right behind him is a young woman, checking appointments on her cell phone as she flashes her headlights insistently at cars that are in her way. When they get to the office, they're going to hop onto the Web to find information. Those are your potential clients. Is your organization's Web site ready to respond to their demanding restlessness?      No matter how good your site looks, their impatience will quickly drive them elsewhere if your written content doesn't get them to yank their earbuds loose and pay attention. Twenty seconds. That's all the time you may have to convey what you do and convince them that you have what they're seeking, and that you can get it into their hands quickly. You saw how they drive. These are folks who seek instant gratification. Make sure your Web site gives it to them. Here are 10 ways how. 1. Declare who you are and what you do.      Mystery and suspense are staples of television dramas and paperback novels. But they have no place in informative or promotional Web sites. Don't play games with Web site visitors.      On its site, one company describes itself as "the leading provider of managed learning services and hosted learning platforms," and boasts that "hundreds of companies, government agencies and non-profit organizations have deployed [the company's] enterprise learning management platforms and rely on our learning services to drive organizational performance. Our training management products and services leverage the power of the Internet to accelerate the critical business processes within your organization, centrally manage human capital and knowledge acquisition, and dramatically increase your capacity to win a competitive advantage in the marketplace."      Neither that text nor the remainder of the description explains precisely what the company sells or does. Instead, get right to the point. And leave drama to novelists and playwrights. 2. Tell readers what they want to know.      If you want to communicate with readers, don't write what you want to tell them. Write what they want to know. Information that is fascinating or a source of pride to you may be of no interest to your site's visitors. Learn the needs of your customers and prospective clients, and cater and respond to their quest for information. 3. Use plain language.      Write simple, straightforward, easily understood sentences. Impress your readers with your organization's expertise, not with your literary prowess or arcane terminology. Ditch buzzwords and jargon.      One Web site boasts that "our core competencies have served to build a solid foundation upon which we rest our reputation. From our earliest days to the extraordinary strides we have made over the decades, our core competencies have solidified our position in the marketplace."      That's not going to dazzle anyone. What successful company, after all has not used its expertise ("core competencies") as its foundation upon which to stabilize and grow? Give your readers a break. Text at the top of the EditPros Web site, for example, tells visitors, "EditPros specializes in writing, editing and proofreading for newsletters, brochures, Web site content, annual reports, technical reports, research studies and articles for publication." Unadorned. Unpretentious. Unambiguous. And factual. 4. Use the 'inverted pyramid' approach.      Journalists compose news stories using a style they call the "inverted pyramid," in which the concluding or most consequential statement is presented first. Remember those impatient drivers? They may stick around long enough to read only a couple of introductory sentences. Make certain, therefore, that your leading text summarizes the content of the remainder of the page. Make your point succinctly, in case your visitors want to move on quickly. 5. Avoid hyperbole.      Don't join the chorus of competitors who all shriek that they're the biggest, the best, the most popular in the industry. Stand out by sticking to the facts. If your organization is the largest in the field, make sure to back up that assertion with evidence—and then tell your site visitors why buying a product or service from the largest company in the field should matter to them. 6. Don't intimidate your readers.      Your Web site visitors may not necessarily know as much as you do about your subject matter. After all, they've approached you because of your expertise or your ability to offer a needed product or service. So don't talk over their heads. If your subject matter is complex, use supplementary Web pages to explain or elaborate on concepts that may be puzzling to some of your prospects. Build respect by gently educating your guests. 7. Guide readers through the text.      Give hurried readers "directional signs" to help them zip through your text quickly. Use subheadings, bullet points and numbered lists (such as those in this article) to identify key points. 8. Don't fret about scrolling.      As commercial application of the Web was evolving, limiting page length to avoid the need for scrolling became the conventional wisdom. But trackballs and mice with thumbwheels have made scrolling no more troublesome than clicking hyperlinks to other pages. We're not suggesting writing with a stream-of-consciousness style. But to remain cohesive, some documents (such as this newsletter) should be presented intact rather than divided among two or more Web pages. Let the content be your guide. 9. Help people find you.      Try to imagine how someone who didn't know about your organization would find you. Make a list of likely words and phrases that they would use in search engines, and then carefully integrate those terms into the headlines and body of your Web content. Those words must remain as text rather than embedded in graphics in order for them to be detected by search engines. 10. Treat Web site visitors as guests.      Make site visitors feel welcome. Introduce key company personnel, with information about their areas of expertise and their approach to conducting business. Show guests why they should conduct business with your personnel. Invite on-line guests to contact you, thank them for visiting, and invite them to learn more elsewhere on your site or to return at a more convenient time.      When you're done, test the navigational ease of your site. Ask several colleagues, business associates and friends to poke around—some leisurely, some within specified time constraints. Ask how much they were able to learn about your organization in 60 seconds or two minutes. Ask if what they found was illuminating. And ask if the material they read would have encouraged them to pick up the phone to call you.      Just hope they don't do so as they're tailgating you down the freeway. GRAMMAR COACH: Fielding your questions 1. Sueanne W. wrote:      "What is the proper form for noting after a person's name that they are deceased?" The grammar coach replies:      We checked a couple of reliable sources of information: "A Guide to Virginia Protocol and Traditions," published by the Governor's Office of the Commonwealth of Virginia; and the U.S. Army Guide to Protocol and Etiquette for Official Entertainment, but neither clarified the question about identification of people as deceased. Although we were unable to identify an authoritative source that stipulates protocol for designating people who have died, we do have a recommendation for you.      Death usually is indicated with the adjectives "late" or "deceased," or by a range of years representing life span.      In a list, any of those terms could be used in good taste, as in: the late actor James Dean James Dean (deceased) James Dean (1931-1955) James Dean (died Sept. 30, 1955)      Acceptable phrasing in narrative text includes "the late James Dean," "James Dean, who died in 1955" and, in more formal use, "James Dean, who is deceased." 2. Janet W. wrote:      "Why are so many people now using the apostrophe in the totally wrong way or place? For example, with the plural of acronyms. I also find it particularly annoying to see the reflexive 'myself' used instead of 'I' or 'me.' Could you please explain the rules of the above?" The grammar coach replies:      The apostrophe has only three functions in English grammar: to denote possession (as in "the boy's bicycle"), to serve as a placeholder in contractions (as in "we can't find him"), and to indicate omitted characters (as in "2005 and '06"). Yet it is commonly inserted where it is not needed, and excluded where it's required.      The possessive pronouns "his," "hers," "its," "theirs," "yours," "ours" and "whose" do not take an apostrophe because they are already possessive. In the sentence "the bird flapped its wings," the word "its" is possessive without an apostrophe. Add an apostrophe, and it becomes the contraction for "it is"—which would make the sentence nonsensical ("the bird flapped it is wings"). And its' (with an apostrophe after the "s") is not a legitimate word.      As you indicated, an apostrophe should not be used to form the simple plural of an acronym or abbreviation, or the years of a decade in plural. The plural of ATM is ATMs; the 10-year period spanning 1960 to 1969 is called the 1960s. Use of an apostrophe with plurals is justifiable only to help avoid potential confusion (as in the Oakland A's baseball team).      The reflexive pronoun "myself" should be used only when the person receiving the action is the same as the person initiating the action. In the sentence "I accidentally hit myself with the hammer," the pronoun "I" shows who initiated action, and the reflexive pronoun "myself" shows that the same person received it. It also can be applied as an intensive pronoun, as in, "I myself discovered the missing cash," as a way of emphasizing that no one else was involved in the disclosure. Under other circumstances, use of the reflexive pronoun is improper, as in this example: "Sheldon encouraged Stephanie and myself to apply for the grant." Since Sheldon initiated the action that you received, the correct pronoun is "me" rather than "myself"—Sheldon encouraged Stephanie and me.      Are you perplexed by some aspect of grammar or word usage? Don't be shy! Ask the "grammar coach" at EditPros and we'll try to help—at no charge, just for the sport of it. FINDER'S FEE: Recommend a friend—and earn a finder's fee of up to $500      Do you know of a friend or colleague whose office can benefit from EditPros services? If you do, EditPros may reward you with a "finder's fee" of up to $500.      EditPros, established in 1993, performs writing, editing, proofreading and publication management services for newsletters, brochures, Web sites, annual reports, research studies, business proposals and other informational and marketing materials. Our office is in Davis, Calif., between Sacramento and San Francisco.      Our clients include educational institutions, private corporations, health-care organizations, trade associations, scientific research institutions, Web site developers and government agencies. We have worked with some of them for more than 10 years.      If you recommend our services to a friend or business colleague, and that introduction leads to an assignment for EditPros, we will award you a "finder's fee" equaling 10 percent of the amount we earn on the first assignment for the new client, up to a maximum finder's fee of $500. Naturally, the finder's fee is applicable only to clients for which we have not worked previously.      This offer will remain in effect until further notice. YOUR TURN: Ask the "grammar coach" or subscribe      We invite you to submit your questions to the "grammar coach," and we welcome you to subscribe to this monthly newsletter—which we'll send to your e-mail address at no charge. We respond to all "grammar coach" questions personally, but delays may occur because we must place top priority on assignments from our clients. We appreciate your patience and your interest.      You also can change your e-mail subscription address. For an address change, please indicate your existing AND your new e-mail address. Thank you. OUR PRIVACY POLICY for e-mail newsletter subscribers:      We do not use any commercial e-mail lists or automated mass-mailing programs, and we do not allow access to the list by anyone else for any reason. Our subscriber list is maintained by hand, and it is not for sale. We are protective of confidentiality because many of our readers are also clients of ours. Any accompanying advertising is placed by Yahoo.com in exchange for our use of the e-mail server to distribute this newsletter.