CONTENTS FEATURE: Writing goofs are funny—if they're not yours SPOTLIGHT: EditPros clients in the news WELCOME: The newest EditPros clients NET NOTES: Captivating web sites FEATURE: Writing goofs are funny—as long as they're not yours      If ever the nation needed a good laugh or two, now is the time. And so as America strengthens its determination and forges alliances with other nations intent on eliminating terrorism and creating a more harmonious world, pause to enjoy a few chuckles resulting from disharmony in linguistic skills—actual writing goofs we've encountered.      Homophones can create problems—particularly for folks who don't know what they are. Homophones are words that sound alike (hence the "phone" suffix) but which are spelled differently and often have decidedly different meanings.      In an e-mail message, a radio engineer wrote, "Right now I'm in the throws of building another studio and it's keeping me frantic." Sure. Throwing equipment around the studio can have that effect. The engineer likely meant "throes"—a difficult or painful struggle.      In an e-mail message, an office administrator wrote, "I stumbled upon a solution by shear necessity." Although "shear necessity" would be a good name for a line of cutlery products, the proper term in this instance would have been "sheer," in reference to being pure or complete.      Unintentionally humorous statements also can result from a malapropism, which is a misuse or distortion of a word or phrase—particularly one that sounds somewhat like the one intended but is ludicrously wrong in its context.      A computer technician wrote, "Switching cables din help at all." Maybe she DIDN'T (contraction for "did not") hear the instructions properly through all the din (which means "noise"). Her familiarity with terms was obviously based more on sound than on actual knowledge of words and their etymology. That's the kind of error that had led to infamously misunderstood song lyrics, such as "There's a bathroom on the right" instead of the actual but somewhat slurred Creedence Clearwater Revival lyric "There's a bad moon on the rise." Another is the misunderstood line "'Scuse me, while I kiss this guy" rather than the actual Jimi Hendrix lyric "'Scuse me while I kiss the sky."      How about the information technology administrator who acknowledged that "computer backup tapes had turned up missing" that morning? If they had turned up, then they really wouldn't be missing.      Unfamiliarity with grammatical rules and the nuances of sentence construction can often have hilarious results. Consider the "spam" e-mail message with the subject line "Attract Men with Bigger Breasts!" The message was intended to appeal to women who wished to increase the size of their bustlines, but the improper use of a prepositional phrase turned it into a product apparently capable of producing an unnatural change in men.      Sometimes public officials can be disarmingly honest—even more than they intend to be. Consider the mayor who forthrightly declared to reporters, "The first thing we need to do is roll up our sleeves and work very hard to see if we can't find a solution." Hmmm. Seems like very little hard work is required if the goal is making sure that he can't find a solution.      The mayor didn't listen carefully to his own words. Likewise, sometimes writers forget to read their own words, with the result that they don't say precisely what they intended to say. Failure to check a newspaper photo caption resulted in a published statement that said, "By the 1930s, automobiles were on the rise." Floating automobiles were not likely unless they were filled with helium. However, the NUMBER of automobiles was indeed on the rise. Not a serious mistake. Just a silly one.      "The governor's actions in this sorted affair leave a lot to be desired," declared a letter to the editor of a newspaper. Unless the word is changed to "sordid," that sounds like a job for the postal service.      "Call for information about how to create an asthma-friendly environment," offered a radio public service announcement. Seems like creation of an asthma-hostile environment would be more preferable. How about: "Call for information about how to create a more comfortable environment for asthma sufferers"?      Another radio announcement glorified an event as one of the most significant "through the annuals of time." The announcer meant "annals," meaning the record of events by yearly sequence. At least he didn't drop one of the "n"s.      Much of our use of speech is based upon the sounds we hear. No matter how confident you are in your own use of the language, keep a dictionary within reach and use it often to confirm proper spellings and meanings of words.      And by all means, keep your sense of humor and do your part to keep your colleagues laughing when it's appropriate. Just try to avoid doing so at your own expense. SPOTLIGHT: EditPros clients in the news New product from HumanWare and PDI improves integration of blind and sighted employees in the work environment      A new compact electronic "notetaker" that has a standard computer keyboard as well as a braille display has just been introduced by manufacturer Pulse Data International (PDI) of New Zealand and its wholly owned American distribution subsidiary, HumanWare Inc. of Loomis, Calif. The notetaker, called the BrailleNote QT, is designed for blind consumers who read braille but prefer to write using a standard "QWERTY" keyboard.      That and other BrailleNote personal data assistant (PDA) models offer users unprecedented ability to share files with sighted users because unlike other notetakers, they are based upon the Microsoft Windows CE operating system. BrailleNote users can read and edit word processing files using braille, then send those files in Microsoft Word or other formats to sighted or blind colleagues.      The unit's fluid braille display has a grid of movable dots that raise or lower correspondingly with electronic text, providing a tactile surface for the braille reader. Users may also read materials by means of the BrailleNote's built-in high-speed speech synthesizer, listening through headphones to avoid disturbing others. Output for hard copies can be sent to a braille embosser or to a standard printer.      The BrailleNote also has an internal modem that supports the standard POP3 e-mail protocol, as well as integral e-mail software capable of sending and receiving file attachments. The unit's built-in Microsoft Active-Sync utility enables a standard personal computer to recognize BrailleNote as a directory or a data storage device. That permits copy and paste functions between BrailleNote and PCs, which can communicate by means of the BrailleNote's serial port or its infrared port.      Pulse Data , increasingly recognized as the world's foremost developer of advanced technologies for people with visual disabilities, acquired HumanWare earlier this year from the Tieman Group of The Netherlands. The transaction reunites HumanWare and Pulse Data, which in the 1980s were both under the ownership of an Australian company. HumanWare, an EditPros client, is the national master distributor for leading braille and speech products for people with visual, learning and reading impairments. We proudly welcome the newest EditPros client CADA (Capitol Area Development Authority) Sacramento, Calif. (916) 322-2114 Web: http://www.cadanet.org CADA (the Capitol Area Development Authority) is a joint powers authority of the state of California and the city of Sacramento. CADA is a redevelopment and residential-commercial property management agency with stewardship of 42 city blocks adjacent to the state Capitol building in downtown Sacramento. Working closely with government agencies, residents and business owners, CADA works to improve and invigorate these properties through creation of exemplary and innovative mixed-use developments incorporating office, retail and multi-family housing. Net Notes: Captivating Internet resources Flag etiquette from the Betsy Ross home page http://www.ushistory.org/betsy/flagetiq.html      Learn proper American flag etiquette, including the proper way to fold and display the flag. The site, which also includes information on flag laws and regulations, is maintained by the Independence Hall Association, a Philadelphia-based nonprofit electronic publisher of American historical material. American flag display quiz http://www.usa-flag-guide.com/ Test yourself on the rules for proper display of the American flag. President's directive http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2001/09/20010912-1.html The text of President George W. Bush's proclamation honoring the victims of the terrorist attacks that took place on Tuesday, Sept. 11, and issuing instructions for display of the American flag at half-staff. From the official White House Web site. U.S. Flag & Flagpole Supply http://www.usflag.com If U.S. flags are unavailable at your local retail outlets, try this resource for flags, flagpoles and associated hardware. The Texas-based company's inventory also includes state flags, as well as flags of other nations and advertising banners. YOUR TURN: Ask the "grammar coach" or subscribe      We invite you to submit your questions to the "grammar coach," and we welcome you to subscribe to this monthly newsletter—which we'll send to your e-mail address at no charge. We respond to all "grammar coach" questions personally, but delays may occur because we must place top priority on assignments from our clients. We appreciate your patience and your interest.      You also can change your e-mail subscription address. For an address change, please indicate your existing AND your new e-mail address. Thank you. 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