CONTENTS FEATURE: How to write a complaint letter that produces results GRAMMAR COACH: Fielding your questions FINDER'S FEE: Recommend a friend—and earn up to $500 FEATURE: How to write a complaint letter that produces results      When you buy a product for your business or personal use, you expect it to perform as printed or on-line sales literature promised. If it doesn't, you ought to be able obtain a reasonable solution — replacement, repair or refund.      In the old days, you'd ask to speak with the owner of the shop where you bought the merchandise. Shoppers increasingly are turning to the Internet, however, in response to road congestion and high gasoline prices. As easy as shopping on the Web is, service after the sale can be impersonal and — at times — frustratingly inadequate.      Suppose your office purchased an image scanner that soon began to malfunction. The manufacturer replaced the defective part, but then the replacement failed just days after the warranty expired — and customer service refused to make any further adjustment.      Imagine you purchased a power tool through the Web as a birthday present for your son-in-law, but the package that was delivered to him instead contained a toilet seat — and the customer service representative said she was unable to issue a return authorization and expedite shipment of the proper merchandise.      What would you do if you reserved a room at a motel for a business trip, changed your travel plans, canceled the reservations, and then later received a "no-show" bill for one night's stay — and the motel clerk denied that you had canceled the reservation?      You'd likely become angry. And you might want to complain to someone. But to whom? And with what in mind? The three examples we described are not fabricated. They actually occurred. People routinely complain about everything under the sun: taxes, politics, aggressive drivers, lazy co-workers, annoying relatives, disturbing cell phone ring tones, loudly throbbing car audio systems. You might as well complain about the weather.      If you're upset over a purchase about which you have a legitimate complaint, you can do more than stew about it. You can write a complaint letter. With a few well-chosen epithets, you can let a company know you're infuriated and will never conduct business there again. Such a letter may have unintended consequences; it could come as a relief to the business owner, who may prefer to avoid dealing with irate, flame-throwing customers anyway.      A well-conceived, reasoned letter of complaint, however, can be more productive than a smoldering diatribe that does nothing but vent your anger. A persuasive letter of complaint can elicit an apology, along with accommodations to retain you as a customer. If that lasting result appeals to you more than the momentary satisfaction derived from telling someone off, here are 10 tips for you. Go to the top. A store manager or a customer service representative may be unwilling, or may lack authority, to make amends for the problem. If customer service employees have denied your request, go above their heads — to the company president or chief executive officer. To learn who's in charge, visit the company's Web site and navigate to the "about us" or "investor relations" area and then look for "corporate governance" or "executive management," or examine news releases in the "media relations" section. Use traditional mail. You may be unable to find a posted e-mail address for executive personnel, but look for fax and mailing address information. A traditional mailed letter — perhaps reinforced by a fax — is more likely to reach its destination than an e-mail message that may be rejected or shunted aside before reaching the executive. Go right to the point. Don't begin your letter with a chronological recitation ("last year, my company bought a..."). That forces your recipient to wade through too much material to learn about your complaint. In your opening paragraph, concisely explain your reason for writing ("I ordered a power tool, but your shipping department sent me a toilet seat, and your customer service department won't help me"). Elaborate after your introduction. Now that you have alerted the CEO about the nature of your complaint, describe the problem in detail. Clarify whether the product is malfunctioning, or simply failing to live up to your expectations. Tell how you were using the product, when the problem materialized, and what you have done to try to resolve it, and your prior interactions with other company personnel. Supply specific information. Indicate the date and place of purchase; your purchase requisition, invoice or sales order number; the price you paid; product part and serial numbers; the date and time you contacted the company's customer service department; the name of the representative with whom you spoke; and other specific relevant information that the CEO may need to verify your purchase and examine your customer record. Enclose photocopies of receipts, signed contracts, canceled checks or other relevant documentation. Be polite. Abusive or profane language won't make a CEO sympathetic to your plight. If your complaint is legitimate, it will carry enough weight without resorting to expletives. Don't blame the CEO for shipping a defective product. Tell the executive you are writing to request help in resolving the problem. Do your homework. Search the Web for information about the company, the product and the executive to whom you're writing. If you've found evidence that other consumers have reported the same defect you have identified, mention that. Learn something about the CEO to whom you are writing. Perhaps he or she previously had been a well-regarded government official, or had performed altruistic community service. If so, try a little flattery. Consider saying that the executive's honorable reputation gives you hope for a fair resolution. Make a specific, reasonable request. Tell the CEO how you want the problem to be resolved — "I would like you to ship the power tool overnight express at no additional charge" or "I wish to return this product, which does not meet my expectations" or "I am asking you to replace rather than repair this merchandise." Include all contact information. List your mailing address, your e-mail address, and your work, home, fax and cell phone numbers. Then check each often. Don't give the CEO any excuse for failing to reach you. Be accessible, and you may be pleasantly surprised. Sleep on it. Don't write and mail a complaint letter hastily. Print it, leave it on your desk overnight, and read it again in the morning to make sure it says what you want to say, in the tone you want to express yourself. Ask yourself if it's too harsh, too vague, too long, or too brief. Carefully check your spelling, punctuation and grammar, because any errors can diminish your credibility. Make any necessary refinements, and then send it.      These techniques helped resolve the motel cancellation disagreement, resulted in replacement of the defective scanner, and yielded a satisfactory resolution for the embarrassed customer whose son-in-law received a toilet seat instead of a power tool on his birthday.      You can read copies of those letters (with personal information concealed).      In a future edition of EditPros News, we'll discuss what to do when complaints are addressed to you — how to respond to and resolve complaints amicably. GRAMMAR COACH: Fielding your questions 1. Linda W. wrote:      "To refer to two different women in the body of a letter, is there a plural for 'Ms.' — i.e., 'Ms. Smith and Jones,' or 'Ms. Smith and Ms. Jones'?" The grammar coach replies:      Although Webster's New World College Dictionary does not indicate a plural for the courtesy title "Ms.," the American Heritage Dictionary of the American Language indicates four: "Mss." or "Mss" or "Mses." or "Mses" (with or without an ending period). "MSS" in all capitals (or "mss" in lowercase) also happens to double as the abbreviation for "manuscripts."      Because each of those four abbreviations may be unfamiliar to many people, repetition of the singular title (as in "Ms. Smith and Ms. Jones") may be preferable. 2. Tony B. wrote:      "Radio traffic reporters use the terms accident and crash interchangeably when they're talking about car wrecks. Are those two terms equivalent?" The grammar coach replies:      The noun accident is derived from the Latin word accidere, which means "to fall upon or to happen." Webster's New World College Dictionary defines an accident as a "happening that is not expected, foreseen or intended...sometimes resulting from negligence." That vague definition could refer to coffee spills or leaky diapers as well as to automotive and other mishaps. It does not specifically refer to a collision.      An accident is not necessarily serious. The Columbia Guide to Standard American English says, "an accident may be trivial or important, but it may also be either fortunate or unfortunate, and it is unexpected." It cites as an example, "bumping into her in the hall was a lucky accident."      The verb and noun crash are likely derived from the German word "krach," which refers to a crash or disaster. The verb crash means "to fall, collide or break with force and with a loud, smashing noise." The definitions of the noun form include "crashing, as of a car or an airplane."      A crash can refer to falling objects as well as those that collide with each other. The noun collision, in contrast, specifically refers to violent contact between two objects — two or more motor vehicles, or a motor vehicle with a tree, building or other stationary object. The verb collide is derived from the Latin collidere, a combination of words meaning "together" and "to strike or injure." The verb collide and the noun collision, therefore, are the most precise terms in reference to a car-crunching incident.      The Columbia Guide to Standard American English says "It has often been argued that these words [collide and collision] can properly be used, literally or figuratively, only of two bodies in motion, not of one at rest and one in motion. Not true. People may collide with brick walls, and innovative reforms may be in collision with entrenched privilege. Such uses are standard, although when the corner of the dresser collides with your bare foot, that usage is jocular and wry."      We found that last entry in the Columbia Guide a crack-up — which is, we suppose, another term that traffic reporters may use."      Are you perplexed by some aspect of grammar or word usage? Don't be shy! Ask the "grammar coach" at EditPros and we'll try to help—at no charge, just for the sport of it. FINDER'S FEE: Recommend a friend—and earn a finder's fee of up to $500      Do you know of a friend or colleague whose office can benefit from EditPros services? If you do, EditPros may reward you with a "finder's fee" of up to $500.      EditPros LLC, established in 1993, performs writing, editing, proofreading and publication management services for newsletters, brochures, Web sites, annual reports, research studies, business proposals, and other informational and marketing materials. Our office is in Davis, Calif., between Sacramento and San Francisco; however, our clients include educational institutions, private corporations, health-care organizations, trade associations, scientific research institutions, Web site developers and government agencies from throughout the United States. We have worked with some of them for more than 10 years.      If you recommend our services to a friend or business colleague, and that introduction leads to an assignment for EditPros, we will award you a "finder's fee" equaling 10 percent of the amount we earn on the first assignment for the new client, up to a maximum finder's fee of $500. Naturally, the finder's fee is applicable only to clients for which we have not worked previously.      This offer will remain in effect until further notice. 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