Newsletter and Grammar Coach
OCTOBER 2024 | Vol. 28, No. 10
Monthly information digest for EditPros clients and friends
Call us weekdays: 530-759-2000
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CONTENTS
FEATURE: Don’t splice a mooring rope with a shoelace: How to recognize and rectify comma splices
BOOKSHELF: Authors describe how EditPros’ BookPrep service helped transform dreams into reality
GRAMMAR COACH: Fielding our readers’ questions
REFERRAL REWARD: Recommend a friend — and earn up to $500
 
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Most people have lingering unpleasant memories of teachers returning graded papers with red ink encircling punctuation and grammatical errors. One notation that students dreaded seeing in red was “comma splice” because they may have had trouble grasping the concept — and as adults still may find it baffling.
The comma, after all, is intended to splice together parts of a sentence, so what could make it wrong? The answer is that it depends on the circumstances in which the comma is used.
A comma splice results from incorrectly joining two independent clauses. An independent clause is a statement that can stand on its own — constituting a complete sentence. “Lauren expects heavy traffic on Interstate 80 on Monday mornings” is a complete sentence — an independent clause. So is “Your rent payment is 15 days overdue.” Here’s another: “The engineering crew worked all night to complete the prototype.”
But adding an additional clause to any of those sentence to elaborate — for example, to tell what Lauren plans to do — must be done with caution in order to avoid a grammatical mishap like this one: “Lauren expects heavy traffic on Interstate 80 on Monday mornings, she plans to leave home 30 minutes early.” There you witnessed a head-on crash between two independent clauses. The sentence was badly mangled and the writer sustained injuries that included a bruised ego.
Elaboration about overdue rent became unhinged for the landlord who wrote, “Your rent payment is 15 days overdue, that is concerning because of late payments for the two previous months.”
A business executive needed to go back to the drawing board after reporting that “the engineering crew worked all night to complete the prototype, the international trade show begins tomorrow.”
Use of a comma in each of those sentences was as misguided as trying to splice a snapped boat mooring rope with a shoelace.
While a comma can be used to connect two independent clauses, it needs a helper word to do so. That sentence itself demonstrates how.
If we had written, “A comma can be used to connect two independent clauses, it needs a helper word to do so” that would have created a comma splice. That and other comma splices can be rectified in any of five ways:
1. Split the two independent clauses into separate sentences. Replace the comma with a sentence-ending period and capitalize “it” as the start of a second sentence: A comma can be used to connect two independent clauses. It needs a helper word to do so.
2. Insert a coordinating conjunction. Add the conjunction “but” after the comma, to strengthen the separation between the two independent clauses: A comma can be used to connect two independent clauses, but it needs a helper word to do so. The seven words that function as coordinating conjunctions are for, and, nor, but, or, yet and so. You can remember them by the acronym formed by their first initials: FANBOYS.
3. Replace the comma with a semicolon to separate the clauses. Although a semicolon does not command a sentence-ending full stop, it does signal the reader to heavily depress the brake pedal, thereby strengthening the separation between the two independent clauses: A comma can be used to connect two independent clauses; it needs a helper word to do so.
4. Retain the comma in combination with a conjunctive adverb. Don’t let the term “conjunctive adverb” intimidate you. It’s simply an adverb that forms a transition between two comparable or related independent clauses. The English language has well over two dozen conjunctive adverbs, the most common of which are however, consequently, furthermore, likewise, meanwhile, moreover, nonetheless, therefore, thus and otherwise. Precede the comma with a semicolon and a conjunctive adverb, and then the comma follows: A comma can be used to connect two independent clauses; however, it needs a helper word to do so. Furthermore, placement of the conjunctive adverb is not rigid; it can “float” to different positions within a sentence, as in: A comma can be used to connect two independent clauses; it needs a helper word, however, to do so.
5. Convert the first independent clause to a dependent clause by preceding it with a conjunctive adverb. Doing so will let you retain the comma: Although a comma can be used to connect two independent clauses, it needs a helper word to do so.
Any of those approaches can be used to rectify our three example sentences, with minor changes in wording as needed.
Lauren expects heavy traffic on Interstate 80 on Monday mornings, so she plans to leave home 30 minutes early.
Lauren expects heavy traffic on Interstate 80 on Monday mornings; consequently, she plans to leave home 30 minutes early.
Because Lauren expects heavy traffic on Interstate 80 on Monday mornings, she plans to leave home 30 minutes early.
Your rent payment is 15 days overdue. That is concerning because of late payments in prior months.
You paid your rent late during the previous two months; moreover, your current rent payment is 15 days overdue.
The engineering crew worked all night to complete the prototype because the international trade show begins tomorrow.
The international trade show begins tomorrow; the engineering crew finally completed the prototype after working on it all night.
We trust that you will find those explanations helpful; furthermore, we hope you avoid heavy traffic on your commute to work tomorrow..
Some of the clients who have used our BookPrep service are writers who have previously written books for traditional publishers. They chose to work with us because they wanted to have full control over the finished product and distribution.
Others are first-time authors who were determined to self-publish their manuscripts, but who needed the help of professionals in formatting their work for e-books as well as for print publication. Sacramento area resident Clara Murrels is one such person. She contacted us earlier this year to help her publish her memoirs, titled, Out of the Shadow and Into the Light: Healing After the Death of Loved Ones, which includes a series of poems that she composed. Now that her book has been produced, she wrote a sincere letter of thanks to us.
“I’ve searched and searched for a book publisher within my needs to publish a short story for me. Offers from other publishers were a bit too steep for my budget. I decided to call the Central Library in my area and I was provided with a list of companies that perhaps could be helpful, and were they ever. The first call that I made was definitely a godsend,” Clara wrote. “At last I found someone that was ready to help me publish my story.”
Clara was referring to EditPros partner Marti Smiley Childs, our graphic design professional who has designed and formatted more than 60 books for our BookPrep service clients.
“I’m so overwhelmed and appreciative of all the work that she has done in preparing my story for publication. Not only is Marti meticulous in all detail, but she will go that extra mile and always was cooperative to my satisfaction. I highly recommend EditPros for all publication needs.”
Sacramento County resident Andrea Elizabeth used BookPrep services to publish her first book, What If You Were God? 21-Day Work And Prayer Book To Find Your Inner Substance.
“I chose EditPros at first because it was a local business. Then, when I met Marti and Jeff, I knew they would be the team to work on my book,” Elizabeth explained. “They are knowledgeable and have years of experience working together as a team. Marti was open and accepting of the value I had put into my first book. She realized right away I was nervous and a bit scared about putting this information out into the world.” She added that EditPros helped her overcome her apprehension.
“Marti gave me the reassurance I needed by offering suggestions and assisting me in deciding on what I really wanted to provide to the world. She also had great intuition in helping me pick my cover for my book,” Elizabeth said. “I told her what I wanted and she literally picked the perfect book cover for me. I was pleased with the formatting and the layout of my book as well. Working with Marti was exceptionally easy and her knowledge of the process was impressive. I look forward to working on my next book with Jeff and Marti soon.”
Matthew B. Zavod, M.D., is an otolaryngologist (ear, nose and throat doctor) and reconstructive facial plastic surgeon who envisioned a book to help his own children and other kids overcome fear of injections. He appointed EditPros’ Book Prep service to bring his concept to reality. We paired him with talented illustrator Orsolya Orbán, and the result is his whimsical children’s book Dr. Ridiculopickulopot and the Shot.
“When a friend introduced me to Marti and Jeff at EditPros, I had no idea how important they would be in the fulfillment of my dream to publish my children's book. From finding illustrators to formatting pages, Marti and Jeff were consummate professionals: honest, transparent, caring, and comprehensive,” Zavod wrote. “It is an absolute pleasure to work with them. They made the process of publishing clear and simple. In discussions with other friends who are self-published, I realize the importance of the guidance I received from EditPros. Thank you, Marti and Jeff, for your expertise and kindness.”
During Diane Mengali’s childhood in Northern California in the 1950s, her family appeared functional and successful, as far as neighbors, friends and even relatives could tell. Concealed from their view, however, was her mother’s depression, alcoholism and suicidal tendencies, and her father’s intolerant attitude and infidelity. As a child, Diane internalized her mother’s fear and insecurity and by age 10, she had become a chronic worrier.
As a young woman, Diane moved out of the dysfunctional home of her parents. She married in 1966, but within a year experienced the first in what became an ongoing series of panic attacks. In 1983, a psychiatrist diagnosed Diane with agoraphobia, a type of anxiety disorder characterized by fear and avoidance of any situation that may cause panic, usually accompanied by feelings of helplessness, shame and being trapped. A few years later, she found a therapist who guided her through long-dormant painful emotions, and introduced her to behavior modification and the life-saving practice of mindfulness.
Three decades later, she developed the resolve to tell her story publicly, to help other people suffering from undiagnosed agoraphobia. She began writing her thoughts about that, resulting in publication of a book in 2017 with the help of our BookPrep service. Diane hopes that her book, The Quicksand of Agoraphobia: A memoir of panic disorder, will help people understand the torment and terror that people with panic disorder and agoraphobia face daily. With early diagnosis and treatment, panic disorder can be treated with therapy and medication.
As part of the BookPrep package, EditPros professionally formatted the interior pages of each of these books, designed the cover for each, and readied them for print publication. EditPros also formatted and converted the book files into e-book formats for sale through Amazon (Kindle), Apple (iBooks), Barnes & Noble (Nook), and Kobo, by means of submission to IngramSpark’s e-book service.
In contrast, some authors choose to restrict their books to private distribution to family members and close friends rather than offering them for sale publicly. We accommodate that request and authors can purchase as many copies as they want at wholesale price.
With BookPrep, authors retain all rights to their books, and collect 100 percent of sales royalties.
Would you like to transform the book of your dreams into reality? We invite you to LEARN MORE about the EditPros BookPrep service.
Barry S. wrote:
“This one still bothers me. In the Whitney Houston song, “Saving All My Love For You,” the lyrics go, “… a few stolen moments IS all that we share…” and I’m thinking it should be a “a few stolen moments ARE all that we share….” Can you shed some light, because in other versions by other artists, they still say IS, not ARE.”
The grammar coach replies:
In a strict grammatical sense you’re right, Barry — the plural noun “moments” ordinarily requires agreement with a verb in the plural form, which would be “are.”
Song lyrics are brimming with grammatical errors, written either to help achieve the intended meter of the song, or to sound conversational and avoid formality. And some songwriters may not recognize or care about grammatical precision when composing.
Without knowing what lyricist Gerry Goffin had in mind when he wrote the lyrics to “Saving All My Love For You,” we can only surmise that he may have thought of “a few stolen moments” not as individual ticks of a clock, but rather as a unit of time, an interlude. While “this brief, stolen interlude is all that we share” might have fit from a technical standpoint, it wouldn’t have conveyed the idea of brevity as crisply as “a few stolen moments.”
He also could have written “a few stolen moments are all that we share,” but that would have made the moments seem disjointed. In the context of the song, a reasonable person could argue that the colloquial “a few stolen moments is all that we share” conveys the notion of a fleeting encounter.
Off-key grammar is not as defensible, however, in numerous other songs.
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